March twenty eighth marks 5 years since my father died. On this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Periods podcast, I share some latest insights I’ve gained from exploring my quiet grief, together with why we don’t should be a folks pleaser about our grief and the way some folks will count on that of us.
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5 key matters on this episode
- We count on grief to be linear and wish to tie up our emotions in a neat bow. This creates this self-deception the place we resolve that we’re ‘finished’; that we’re all grieved out. It’s as if we predict we’ve felt and thought all the things we have to about that factor. After which grief strikes once more as a result of it was by no means ‘gone’.
- We grieve one thing or somebody from completely different angles. After we expertise grief in methods and at instances we predict we shouldn’t, it’s an invite to grieve extra deeply.
- The injuries of abandonment are very actual and we will additionally stay our life in a approach that makes us really feel protected and safe. We could be a protected particular person for ourselves. If we maintain folks pleasing and denying our emotions, that is self-abandonment.
- Our grief is ours and we don’t should people-please at grief. Typically folks count on performative grief within the aftermath of a bereavement. They need you to be visibly upset. And sometimes, folks count on performative power and ok-ness as soon as they’ve determined that we needs to be ‘finished’ with outward shows of our ache.
- A part of grieving is biking via arriving at a extra truthful place. We don’t have to maintain telling ourselves that one thing occurred as a result of we’re or have been unworthy. The act of getting our tales, our emotions, out of our system via the likes of journaling, together with unsent letters, helps us to let go and acquire perspective. We invite therapeutic into our life.
Hyperlinks talked about + beneficial sources
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