One of many largest obstacles to extra love and prospects in our lives is how a lot, how usually and the way deeply we “numb out” when life overwhelms us and will get to be an excessive amount of.
Most individuals don’t notice it however we ALL have numerous methods for coping with what we label “good” or “dangerous” in our lives.
We are able to get sucked into believing ideas about how life ought to or shouldn’t be, how “they” ought to or shouldn’t be and what must occur with a view to be OK.
So with a view to free ourselves from the ache we affiliate with the truth of life…
We eat, we drink, we pop one thing to make us really feel calmer (or extra alive)…
-We gossip
-We get indignant
-We get busy
-We get pushy
-We give in
-We withhold
-We begin a combat
-We retreat
-We watch Tik ToK or Fb movies
-We store
-And one million different issues to (in some instances) really feel higher and (in different instances) to not really feel in any respect.
We’ll do something to make ourselves really feel higher, really feel extra alive, transfer beloved, extra assured, extra no matter.
If you wish to see how your explicit protection mechanisms for feeling “good” and avoiding feeling “dangerous” play out…
Simply take a fast take a look at your personal life, particularly when one thing upsetting occurs.
What do you do to calm your self and keep away from feeling?
So the query is…
Why would you wish to really feel anyway?
Can’t you simply bypass all that feeling stuff and go straight to what would make you happier and really feel higher?
It’s as a result of emotions are the indications of what’s happening within us and the ideas we’re making actual.
And if we keep away from it, we push these emotions down and so they all the time come out later in methods we don’t need and might harm {our relationships}.
As an illustration…
Valerie invited Rob over for what she hoped with be a pleasant romantic night with him.
The entire night went sideways fast and he or she was able to kick him out when he instructed her that her big aquarium with dozens of tropical fish in it that she beloved …
Was like a clean TV display screen.
She was completely offended and couldn’t imagine he would say something so unkind.
A short time later, Rob left and with a view to ease her ache and disappointment of what she had hoped would occur that night…
She eat each single one of many CBD cookies she had available to make herself really feel higher.
It did whereas she was consuming them however then she fell right into a funk that precipitated an argument when her sister known as later that night to learn the way her date had gone.
She didn’t wish to argue together with her sister however she had been holding in her anger at Rob’s remark and it simply got here out with out her being conscious.
After we numb out and don’t acknowledge how we actually really feel, even to ourselves…
We get caught in methods we don’t even notice and we are able to’t let in love.
