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How Reframing Rejection Heals Our Hearts

kaxln by kaxln
March 17, 2023
in Relatonships
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How Reframing Rejection Heals Our Hearts
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Dismissed. Disregarded. Solid apart. These experiences sideline us from life and rob us of peace in {our relationships}. Phrases lower. Actions pierce. They steal life from us, but there’s hope. God’s peace can nonetheless reign in the midst of a battle raging in our hearts once we seize onto God’s hand. It’s just like the story of somewhat boy hanging onto an even bigger boy’s hand as they raced to the cellar within the face of a twister. The wind lifted the little boy into the air, however he gripped his cousin’s hand and made it to security.

When rejection blows into our life, it’s like we’re racing a twister to security. The ache of disregard sends our hearts right into a tailspin, and we are able to get caught within the injury it causes. Our hearts rage with anger and bitterness. We spend far an excessive amount of time mulling the dialog over in our heads, analyzing what we stated and what they stated. Our coronary heart turns in opposition to us, and we entertain ideas that point out we deserve what we acquired as a result of we’re not likable, and we shouldn’t count on every other type of end result. Lastly, we accuse God of not stopping this, and we demand he does one thing.

After we say sure to a private relationship with God, he makes us new. It’s stunning and fantastic, however on the identical time, we nonetheless have outdated mindsets, habits, and default responses to the circumstances we encounter. Rejection strikes a harmful blow, and, in our ache, we attain for our outdated methods of responding to the heartache, which might result in extra destruction in {our relationships} with God, ourselves, and different individuals. Transformation takes time and a willingness to wade into the muddy waters of sifting the outdated patterns from the brand new mind-set.

Into the Mud
Rejection is a three-pronged weapon that wounds three areas in our lives: our relationship with others, how we view ourselves, and our understanding of God. In our ache, we are able to wallow within the mud, splashing it throughout others, or we are able to use it to create one thing. Like a potter who provides water to the clay to make mud to form it into one thing stunning, we are able to belief God to make one thing good out of one thing dangerous.

The Israelites spent centuries making mud bricks for the Egyptians. They knew years of slavery and felt deserted by God. Their place of rescue throughout Joseph’s management in Egypt grew to become their place of rejection. Joseph stood second to Pharoah, and God made a technique to keep away from the famine by guiding them to Egypt. However ultimately, the brand new Pharaohs forgot about Joseph and considered the Israelites as a menace, so that they sought to enslave them. God didn’t forsake the Israelites, and he made a means for them to be free. Rejection could make us really feel deserted, however God guarantees by no means to go away us or forsake us. After we flip to God, we are able to depend on him to make a means for us too.

Flip the Script
Our default response to rejection is to fixate on the exterior occasion, flip our unfavorable ideas towards ourselves, and at last level an accusing finger at God. A brand new technique to cope with disregard and rejection is to start out with God. Reframing rejection entails bringing all our ache to him and dumping each unfavorable thought and emotion into his lap. We come to him unedited and sincere. Then he helps us sift by means of the ideas and emotions, redirecting us to let go of the issues that want letting go. That is how he makes use of them to deliver us to a different stage of religious maturity.

In Psalm 62:8, the Psalmist encourages us to precise our hearts to God. “Belief in him always, O individuals; pour out your coronary heart earlier than him; God is a refuge for us.” Our ache can pull us away from the very supply of our consolation. When our hearts break, we will be tempted to collect the shards and carry them in our pockets, the place they proceed to chop us. However once we go away all of the items on the ft of Jesus, he begins to place them again collectively once more. We’re left with scars that inform a narrative of his light faithfulness.

These scars change into crammed along with his grace. I broke an ornamental plate, and as a substitute of throwing it away, I superglued it again collectively. The plate resumed its round form because the bigger items got here collectively. The smaller items have been a bit trickier and messier, however this plate grew to become a logo of how God works in our life. His grace fills the cracks, and his mercy glues the items collectively once more. In rejection experiences, our notion of ourselves can shatter, and the shortage of forgiveness towards others can maintain us damaged. Nevertheless, once we start with God, we obtain the grace and mercy to forgive and to maintain our identification in Christ intact.

Intern at Jesus’ Toes
When Pharoah lastly instructed the Israelites to go, they walked away from Egypt dressed for battle. They have been lastly let loose! Think about the bravado they felt as they carried off Egypt’s gold and silver. But, God knew them higher than they knew themselves. He didn’t take them to their freedom by means of essentially the most direct route. They could have been dressed for battle—weapons in hand and armor on—however they didn’t have the warrior’s mindset. God had set them free, however he took them to freedom by way of the desert.

In our religious journeys, we face desert roads and impassable seas too. In our battles with constant disregard and rejection, we are able to have all of the tools we have to combat the battles, just like the Israelites, however not have the inner fortitude to face the battle. Interning at Jesus’ ft means we stroll into the desert, trusting him with our hearts, together with our ache over previous disregard and the worry of future rejections—and follow religion, hope, and perception in what he says about us and settle for his constant presence.

Crossing Our Crimson Sea
Strolling by religion begins with small steps towards God. We develop into our therapeutic as we decide to let go of bitterness about previous rejections together with the untruths we’ve believed for too lengthy about God and the way we understand ourselves. Flipping the script on our default reactions to rejection is step one we take. We will let rejection enslave us once more, or we are able to repair our consideration on the liberty in entrance of us.

The Lord can use rejection experiences to revive, redirect, and refine us. At occasions, he makes use of them to level our ft in a special path. Even in ache, we are able to belief him to guide us onward into a brand new future. Different occasions, rejection reveals areas in our lives that want refinement. Our transformation entails the renewal of our minds by rejecting thought processes and attitudes that don’t line up with God’s Phrase. Restoration comes once we give up our damaged hearts to him. He places us collectively once more and infuses us with higher quantities of his mercy and style.

The following time rejection shatters your life, pause earlier than you reply. Take each damaged piece to God, give him the ugly emotions and ideas, and share your damage and confusion with him. He’ll meet you within the mess and lead you to higher therapeutic, belief, and freedom in him.

Photograph Credit score: ©iStock/Getty Pictures Plus/interstid


Jessica Van Roekel loves the upside-down lifetime of following Jesus as she journeys to wholeness by means of brokenness. As an creator, speaker, and worship chief, she makes use of her presents and experiences to share God’s transformative energy to rescue, restore, and renew. She longs so that you can know that rejection doesn’t need to outline or decide your future when positioned in God’s therapeutic fingers. Discover out extra reframingrejectionbook.com You may join together with her on Instagram and Fb.



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